What Do Do You Call People Who Want to Be Virgin Again
Women Have Surgery to 'Restore' Virginity
June 20, 2003 -- In a world of extreme makeovers where human bodies are at present fashioned to lodge, this may be the ultimate plastic surgery. It is for women only. Information technology is veiled in secrecy. And it fixes a tiny part of the beefcake rarely mentioned in polite visitor.
Yous may know it by a diversity of slang terms. Technically, it'southward the hymen, a sparse membrane that partially covers the opening of the vagina. A girl who has never had sexual intercourse is supposed to take her hymen intact.
Now, a new surgical technique is giving girls with a past a new future.
"The hymen's a fragile membrane that separates girls from women," said Dr. Robert Stubbs, who runs the Cosmetic Surgicentre in Toronto, where, in a simple, one-half-hr operation, he turns sexually experienced women into surgical virgins.
The surgery is called hymen restoration — a relatively simple procedure that stitches back together what a moment of passion might have shattered.
'Queen of Virginity'
In New York City, the functioning has created a new course of royalty: "They call me the Queen of the Virginity, " says Cuban-built-in Esmeralda Venegas, who runs the Ridgewood Health and Dazzler Heart in Queens.
Here, board-certified plastic surgeons repair the thin membrane, either by stitching the frayed ends together or past adding a patch of tissue from the vaginal walls. Either way, it'due south a procedure that'south a lot easier and less dangerous than the usual nips and tucks women come here for.
But the psychic hurting associated with the decision to undergo the surgery is immense. We met one immature woman, a 17-year-old we'll call Rosalita, who — forced by centuries of tradition — traveled incognito to Venegas' clinic.
"I heard when I was young that all the girls that get married, they bled for the starting time time," Rosalita said.
For Rosalita, the idea that brides should drain on their wedding night was very important.
"Yeah, that's important, because they know that you are a virgin," she said.
But Rosalita is not a virgin. She's come to the clinic to regain what she lost during a recent vacation — a moment of animalism, she says, not love.
Rosalita is from the Dominican Republic and lives in New Bailiwick of jersey with her female parent. She doesn't accept a boyfriend right now, but believes she'll never get married without at least the illusion of virginity.
Catering to a Civilisation of Machismo
She'due south non alone. Venegas says several hundred scared young women from many cultures — Latinas, Mideasterners, Chinese, Koreans — have paid her $2,500 each to have their hymens restored. Sure, it's a concern, she says, just what'south behind the practice makes Venegas angry.
"It's about machismo, 100 percent," she said.
In fact, the hymen is not a reliable mark of virginity. In many girls, information technology is torn or destroyed during active sports. But that hasn't tarnished its allure. And even if it's faux, Stubbs is willing to proceed with the ruse.
When asked whether he believed that by restoring a woman's hymen he was restoring her virginity, Stubbs said: "Well, what is virginity? Virginity is not well defined."
Necessary Deception?
But, in fact, a woman who's had sexual relations is not a virgin, and by restoring the hymen Stubbs and other surgeons are allowing patients to be deceptive.
"Yep. Oh, I agree. I mean, I'm not saying it's not deceptive," he said. "Only there are piffling white lies and big lies."
That deception is acceptable, says Stubbs, for patients whose culture makes this surgery far more serious … mayhap a thing of life and death.
A young woman we'll call Fatima has gone to Stubbs' clinic. She says she doesn't like the thought of deceiving a future husband, but says she feels she must.
"I'm not going to feel comfortable to lie to him. Merely I estimate I take to prevarication to protect the relationship," she said.
Fatima, twenty or so, is from the Centre East and came to the Toronto area with her family as a teenager. A Muslim, she says her family is not observant, but is very traditional. So every time she met with her ex-boyfriend she had to sneak out of the house and lie to her parents.
Her parents likewise don't know that she's come up to Stubbs' dispensary. "I could never ever tell them that, never. I would tell them anything, only not this," she said.
Fatima says if she is not a virgin when she gets married she would be humiliated — and peradventure killed, peradventure fifty-fifty by her parents.
Honor Killing
Fatima is talking about honor killing … a ghastly, aboriginal ritual in the Middle East. We traveled to Cairo, Egypt, to learn about the roots of the do, and were told information technology rarely happens today, but is e'er a possibility in a culture where the virginity of a helpmate belongs to the whole family unit.
"For them, if she loses her virginity, that means she has disgraced the whole family," according to Iman Bibars, a woman who has long fought to raise the status of Egyptian women — especially poor women, for whom, Bibars says, "virginity is their most valuable possession."
But astoundingly, this precious particular doesn't even vest to the women themselves.
"It is something that belongs to their male parent and their brother and their uncle that they have to keep in a safe identify until the family approves of how they give information technology away," she said.
Put some other way, "The honor of the family and of the men are in between the legs of the woman," Bibars said.
Equality — Except When It Comes to Sex activity
To illustrate just how ingrained this notion is in traditional Standard arabic cultures, consider this: In Standard arabic, the hymen is referred to colloquially as "wish al-bent," or "face of the girl." In other words, without it, you have no identity, you lot are no one.
Even very hip, well-off university students in Cairo hold this belief.
Students we spoke with agreed that is very important for women to remain virgins before marriage. They said that amidst their friends, girls don't take sexual practice before they go married.
"Information technology'south the notion that women are a very pure thing, very pure creatures that, men shouldn't affect women out of anything simply a sacred relationship that is wedlock," one female student said.
The young men — who study and work with the women as equals — heartily agreed. They all expected that the women they marry volition be virgins.
Withal they don't take to be virgin grooms, nor does any other man in this supposed equal social club.
The male person students acknowledged that in that location is equality in many aspects of their gild — except in the area of virginity.
In fact, the female students said they thought it was unlikely that the men they marry will exist virgins.
These students said they'd heard about hymen restoration for women, but don't really corroborate of it. I student said she'd live alone rather than alive a prevarication.
But other female students said that if a woman who has had sex really wants to become married, she should become alee and accept the functioning.
In Cairo, every bit in much of the Middle Eastward, the performance is a undercover, not only for the patients, merely for the doctors as well. At that place is no constabulary against hymen reconstruction, but it carries such a stigma that no physician twenty/20 contacted there would either admit it was beingness done or even talk most it.
Nevertheless, Stubbs says he's received east-mails from doctors in Egypt and all effectually the world asking him to explain how to exercise the surgery. He is the best-selling proficient.
Some of these women have to exist examined past a gynecologist before their wedding dark, so the surgery has got to be disarming. But Stubbs says he thinks he can fool even a gynecologist.
And all-time of all, says Stubbs, he can fool the family unit on the hymeneals night, when the bride volition, every bit required, drain.
Caught Between Tradition and a New Reality
Back in New York, that'southward Rosalita'due south goal for the procedure.
Like all the women nosotros talked to, she knows that a few sutures don't actually make her a virgin again. And that simple surgery doesn't close the culture gap. Just for a generation caught between the traditions of their past and the reality of their lives today, this piffling operation at least offers an alternative to dishonor, or fifty-fifty the possibility of expiry.
Fatima, who underwent the process at Stubbs' dispensary, wants people in her culture to empathize what she's going through and mayhap reconsider their long-held behavior.
"I'm trying to requite them a message; maybe they would try to change a bit — and forget well-nigh the old mode and move on to more of import things in life."
Source: https://abcnews.go.com/2020/WomensHealth/story?id=123701&page=1
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